


All damn night

by DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Feels, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 18:33:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12259815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5/pseuds/DrawingBooks_Louayokes_5
Summary: Severus waits for James to come to their classroom and dwells in his thoughts. When James finally comes, he has his break-up speech ready. See for yourself how this one plays out.





	All damn night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)  
> I'm glad you chose to read this fic and f you liked it, please leave a kudo. Also, leave a comment :)  
> I'm looking forward to knowing your opinion on this!  
> This fic was supposed to be an afternoon-work, easy to do. But in the end, it was tricky and really left me exhausted emotionally after writing only a few paragraphs.  
> I was inspired by Little Mix's "F.U." from their album "Glory Days"  
> However, I hope you enjoy!  
> BR

### All damn night

 

 _All damn night, I was here waiting_  
_I know you were with her, I know that you kissed her_  
_You came home late when I was so mad_  
_Had my break up speech ready_  
_Then you kissed my face, it's the way you persuade me_

 

Severus has been waiting for James for hours. Why did he even bother, he thought by himself. He won't show up. Not today, anyways.

 He sat down on a chair in the long-forgotten class room they were meeting in every night.

 "How could I be stupid enough to believe he would hold his word? Why should he come here tonight, when he has her?" Severus mumbled angrily.

 The quiet in the room seemed to mock him. Like it said: No one's here, who are you kidding. He's not coming and so isn't anyone else.

 There had been nights James hasn't come to see Severus. There had been nights he's waited and waited for him to come, and there'd been mornings in which James had apologized. Poorly. With a quick peck on the lips or a quick fuck, but never an explanation. There'd be a "I'll make it up to you" and then he'd do whatever he had in mind and Severus would let him. Because it was James.

 Today, James's been in Hogsmeade with Lily. He was probably kissing or fucking her in the Gryffindor tower. In a warm, soft bed. Not in some dark classroom where no teacher or student ever expected someone to be. Where what occurred could be kept a secret. He suddenly felt ill.

 Severus had been thinking about breaking up with James. Loads of times. Because they didn't really have a future together, at least no realistic one.

 He often pictured James and Lily on their wedding, them having a baby. This was not so surreal, since they were the "perfect couple" of the school. Yes. They were perfect. And Severus was just the third wheel.

 He thought of breaking up with James tonight. Breaking up with him once he's back. He had this list in his head, the list of what arguments to use and what to say. James betrays him, they could never have a future together, and if, they would never be anything more than an affair, he doesn't want to be James dirty little secret and on top of that he doesn't want to betray Lily like that (though he already has, but cannot do it anymore).

 Severus never said it. But tonight, he would. He couldn't let James put him in this situation of choosing between what he wanted, James and love, and Lily, his best friend and first-love.

 It hurt him that James was with the girl he always admired and loved. And used him like a toy, like something that could be toyed with, someone who was to be toyed with.

 Severus heard the door open, and his heart cracked in a million pieces when he turned around and saw James standing there. His hair was even more uneven than normally and he had a bit of lipstick on his mouth. So he did kiss Lily. And Merlin knows what else they did.

 Severus was about to say something, when James smiled slightly, quickly walked towards Severus and kissed him.

 

 _You're dirty, disgusting_  
_But I can't get enough of your loving_  
_Boy, I hate you, really hate you_  
_My momma said I shouldn't date you_

 

 While they kissed, a memory popped up in Severus' head. James has mocked him just this afternoon with his stupid friends and his stupid laugh and stupid spells that let him look like a looser. He felt disgust wash through him like a wave that hits the rocks by the sea.

 He had to admit that it felt good, though - to lie in James' arms and feel his lips moving hungrily against his. It made him feel like he really counted to James somehow. Like he was the only one who could make him want.

 But at the same time he knew that he was supposed to hate James - and hated him. He did - for taking Lily, for making him love him so much he might explode and for treating him so differently when his friends were around.

 Another memory made its way to him. His mother, pushing some strands of his hair behind his ear, looking at him almost lovingly. She had explained to him, that Gryffindors couldn't be trusted and that they always went in head-first. That had been, when he had come home from his first year at Hogwarts and told her that Lily was in Gryffindor (his Father didn't allow any of those "awfully ridiculous letter pigeon-owls" in his house). After he had tried to protest "no, no, mother, Lily's my friend!" she had then added that it was dangerous to like someone so headstrong and different from yourself. Only now, he realised that maybe his mother had meant his father.

 

 _I wanna say, Shoo, shoo_  
_I wanna say, Screw you_  
_I practice my lies in the mirror_  
_Then you smile, that's my killer_  
_So I say, Love you_  
_And, Baby, I need you_  
_Cause you're drop dead gorgeous_  
_And Cupid ain't coming to warn us_

 

He lay awake so many times, finding words and ways to tell James that he didn't want this to go on, but he couldn't.

 Because he loved James, because even though he'd never admit it, James was amazingly beautiful. His stupid smile, the crinkles he got around his eyes when he laughed (even when he laughed at him).

 Severus hated how his mind screamed I love you! and I hate you! at the same time.

 He knew, he needed James, like he needed air to breathe. He couldn't let him go. If he did, what would he do without the time they spent together? James wouldn't stop mocking him, the teasing might just get worse.

 In two years, it would all be over anyways. They would be gone from Hogwarts.

 

 _You're cheatin', you're lyin'_  
_But, boy, right before I say that it's the end_  
_You sweet talk me again, yo_  
_I don't wanna be friends, no_  
_Why am I such a fool when it comes to you?_

I never want this to end, one part of his mind said, the other that James is cheating and lying and an awful stuck-up, filthy rich wizard.

 He couldn't decide which part of his brain was louder - then James pushed his shirt up. Severus tried to hold on those long fingers, to stop him, he told himself. But James was already pushing his  body against his, kept pushing. James moved his mouth close to Severus ear and Severus could already guess them alluring words before he heard them.

 Instead of moving his head away, he listened to James, whispering that he loved him and that he's sorry for spending so much time with Lily. If he could, he'd always be with Severus.

 Severus let the words affect him and melted under James' hands.

 He didn't try to stop James when he started to get rid of their clothes.

  
_I wish you were dead 'til you take me to bed_  
_You're so good, so good, you lead on, my love_  
_Oh, them brown eyes and that body_

They got into their clothes again, a little too breathless, Severus inspecting a particular huge love-bite, too huge to hide in the showers, as James leaned towards him and kissed him.

 The kiss was a chaste kiss, but James has not kissed him often after sex. In fact, he had started to only recently.

 "In two years, when we're done with Hogwarts," James said slowly, "will we still be ... like this?"

 Severus studied James' face, looked for mocking, for that sly glance in his eyes. He looked serious.

 Serious enough to mean it.

 "I don't know," Severus finally said.

 "Do you hope so?"

 Severus said nothing.

 "I do," James said.

 Severus glanced up at him suspiciously. James smiled and Severus' heart jumped.

 Then, James left the class room, leaving Severus alone with his mixed feelings.


End file.
